Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Mingyu
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse, 2015 ish... don’t scrutinize the timeline please, repressed jeononu = 17hols main character
Permission to remix: Yes
WC: 655
A/N: don’t get me wrong i’m minwon 2021 truther!!! (we haven’t seen mw 2022 yet)


WONWOO: My personality changing a lot is the other members’ and especially Mingyu’s fault.
MINGYU: For me— that’s not when you say fault. Here you should say, “It’s thanks to Mingyu.”
WONWOO: It’s because I’m shy.
MINGYU: Fault means you’re faulting someone.

210604


*

The first time he said it Mingyu was taken aback and all too quiet on the way home. Wonwoo noticed and said next to him in the back of the car, It was getting to be too much for me. That made Mingyu even sadder, which he tried to hide but he did a poor job of it. Wonwoo was rarely the type to snap but Mingyu earned it from him more than any of the others. Wonwoo told him after a few minutes, It’s what they like to hear, and Mingyu turned his head away and stared out the window at the passing lights. They’ll get bored if there’s no conflict, Wonwoo said.

I don’t believe you, Mingyu told him.

Fine, Wonwoo said back. Their voices receded into the background of Soonyoung’s karaoke in the middle seat and Seokmin’s singing from the front, a sharp divide in mood that only half the van was conscious of. Wonwoo would apologize and tell him later It’s because you’re so kind and understanding.

It’s hard to tell if you should make an effort to change yourself after a comment like that.


*


Wonwoo can be right without being courteous about it. “You’re a bit foolish,” Myungho told him one day after that at the kitchen table, still a few months after they’d debuted together. Mingyu’s first instinct back then was to take offense. Myungho shook his head. “I’m not being mean, I swear.” Even though they were still prone to miscommunication, Mingyu felt at that moment Myungho was more honest towards him than Wonwoo had been for the past eight months. “You love him so much. Don’t you think Wonwoo hyung is too cruel to you?”

Mingyu had too much pride to say Of course I do.

“It’s his way of expressing himself,” Mingyu said, idly playing with the clicking mechanism of a ballpoint pen. The ceiling light flickered above them, casting shadows and then leaving them in the dark. And like he wanted to sign his own death sentence, he continued, “I forgive him for it.”


*


But at the end of the day Mingyu has never known how to keep his feelings to himself.

You called me out for a reason, Wonwoo said after Mingyu’d stood in front of him for ten minutes, lost on how to say what he means and be heard for it at the same time. It’s cold, aren’t you cold?

I am cold, Mingyu said, but he couldn’t help but feel like that applied to Wonwoo more, and he was just agreeing with him for the sake of it. Wonwoo put on a thin jacket like he hadn’t meant to stay out for that long. So really it was his own mistake.

Well?

I’m tired, Mingyu told him. And you’re too impatient.

We could talk inside, Wonwoo proposed.

No, Mingyu said immediately and adamantly. There are too many people watching.

Does it matter that much?

I’m not doing it for me, Mingyu said. That’s for you.

Wonwoo just looked at him for a long time.

You care so much about other people, Mingyu told him, that it makes me sad. Why does it affect everything you do? I miss when you weren’t like this.

Maybe because Mingyu was so blunt for once Wonwoo was more inclined towards benevolence.

I always cared about the cameras, he said. It was your fault that I had to care so much.

What the fuck?

You’re terrible at acting, you know? Wonwoo said. We don’t stop working when we go home, you know. We never stop working. Once you signed the contract and went up on stage that decision was made, you can never go back. And you can’t turn your feelings off and back on again.

I don’t understand.

Wonwoo laughed, not unkindly. He almost looked sad about it. Don’t you think we’re a bad idea?


*


Myungho would tell him years later that was a confession.