17hols | 2022 Round 1: Quotes

2022 Round 1: Quotes

Status: Closed

This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.

Seventeen Holidays

Round 1: Quotes

About

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"

"You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. Each prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, and more. Steal from a literary classic, or WeVerse drama. Have fun!

Examples

Minghao + Ocean Vuong

The most beautiful part of your body
is where it's headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.

Ocean Vuong - night sky with exit wounds

Hoshi/Anyone; "Beauty is terror"

Thinking about these two quotes together and the idea of on/off-stage personas:

"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful we tremble before it. And what could be more terrifying or beautiful, to the Greeks to to our own, than to lose control completely?" - Donna Tartt, the Secret Histories

"I am calm in everyday life but when I put on my in-ear device and step on stage, I can feel the tension and hear the cheers getting louder as the music gets louder. When the staff tells me it's time to step on stage, I feel something boil inside me. I feel it steaming inside and I think I have to give a burst of something, spill what is inside me." - Hoshi in Hit the Road Ep. 04

Any ship; "It's been so many years"

Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more
Now Martha please recall
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.

Tom Watts - Martha

Rules

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Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
There is no maximum cap.
Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.

How it works

Prompting

Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
Change the subject to something interesting;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Do Not Wants: None Prompt: <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote>

Filling

Reply to the original prompt;
Change the subject to [FILL], you may add a title or stay chaotic;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask ***

Remixing

Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
Change the subject to [REMIX].

Art/media

Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a>

Note!

On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.

Navigation

❮ ROUND 1: QUOTES ❯

ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

ROUND 3: LAST WORDS

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ship/Member: Any, Vernon/Joshua/Any, any ot3
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: can be funny can be heartbreaking can be sexy, up to you
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Now, mathematically this doesn’t make sense
But in this scenario, one plus one equals three

— Pitbull, 3 to Tango

*Vernon's voice* What's two minus one?

— Seventeen, 2 minus 1

Ship/Member: Vernon/Joshua, Joshua/OFC, Vernon/Joshua/OFC
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: non-canonverse, inspired by joshua's fast pace moment, the frustration of having feelings for someone who's operating on a different wavelength
Permission to remix: Yes

Word count: 1300
thought you might want to know that i have never written fic before, but this prompt changed the chemistry of my brain
***
From where he's sitting, Vernon can see them dancing far too clearly. Joshua is good, the way you are good when you've come through idol training and emerged on the other side as a person who now can dance, quite well, and sing, somewhat well. Jisoo is also good, the way someone who obviously loves dancing as much as she does can be expected to. Vernon learned her name when one of the hyungs they were there with called out for Joshua and both he and the girl dancing next to him turned around. They’ve been pretty much circling each other since.

Vernon's still sitting at the bar, mindlessly bobbing his head to a remix of some latin pop song when he sees Jisoo lean down to Joshua, close, close, closer. He can feel his heart beat way too loud in his chest, which is as distracting as it is frustrating. On a rational level he's completely against his heart doing any of that. First of all, Jisoo is a nice person who doesn’t deserve his jealousy. He barely knows her, but he’s sure of that, and she probably wouldn’t deserve it if she was less nice anyway. But she is, and earlier in the night she helped him order a drink when he couldn’t get the bartender’s attention. He even danced with her himself! It just didn’t look… like that. And second of all, well. It’s not her fault she has more chemistry and immediate understanding with Joshua than Vernon has managed to accumulate through years of knowing him.

It feels as though long minutes have passed, but, in the end, with a change of light, Vernon can see Jisoo is just whispering to him. Realistically speaking, she’s probably talking quite loudly, but that’s not the point. The point is, Joshua is turning his head to look straight at Vernon's face. He thinks he must look like a turtle in headlights, too slow to even try running away. He lifts his hand to wave at the same time as Joshua makes a beckoning motion. Certainly pointed in his general direction.

When he's closer, he can see that Joshua looks a bit different now than when he was dancing. He's really good at this too, making his face look as non-threatening as possible, as if to counteract the slightly intimidating effect his looks have on people. Vernon wishes he didn’t question the smile, could ignore the part of his brain reminding him that for Joshua making it reach his eyes is a conscious decision sometimes. He doesn't like that Joshua's doing that now, to him. You'd think after all this time he would feel comfortable enough around Vernon not to pretend.

"Jisoo said she wants to see me dance with my pretty dongsaeng," he says, stepping closer to be heard over the loud music.

"I just think oppa’s style will suit you more," she adds, smile teasing.

Joshua's eyes widen a little, but he laughs it off. Vernon looks between the two of them maybe a bit too long, trying to assess the overall vibe. It doesn't feel like he's being made fun of, yet somehow all of this comes across as vaguely condescending, and he'd much rather come up with an excuse to leave. But nothing sounds believable enough when he tries to phrase it inside of his head, all the possible reasons making him feel even smaller. Instead, he smiles, refusing to acknowledge the way he was just visibly rebooting in the middle of the dancefloor.

"Sure".

Joshua dances with him the exact same way he was dancing with Jisoo, which is surprising at first. His hip movements feel the same way they looked from the distance, except of course not the same at all – with Vernon now being in the front row, more than that, part of the performance. He puts his hands on Joshua's waist, drags them down, which gets Joshua to smile for real this time. If Vernon had to guess he'd say it's because he's back in his depth, back to being the seductive cat-like creature he becomes sometimes, feeding off of butterflies in strangers' stomachs. In Vernon's stomach, in this case.

It's like he's been thrown inside a kaleidoscope, familiar things creating unfamiliar patterns, colours changing all around him. He knows the shape of Joshua's hands, how big they are, but what he didn't know before is the way they feel resting on his neck, nails scratching lightly through the fine hairs of his nape, touch delicate. He does his best not to give in to sensation, not to close his eyes and hold his breath, hoping it lasts just a bit longer. He's not even that tactile, but something about the way Joshua touches him, gives Vernon his deliberate attention is heady and makes him scared of losing it. Scared to lean into it too much, too.

He tries not to make eye contact for too long, afraid of what either of them might see, so instead he looks at the way Joshua’s hair is styled, probably more strands falling onto his forehead now than initially intended. He looks at the way the lights catch on his ear piercings, feeling a sudden urge to tug on them with his teeth. He turns his gaze back to Joshua’s hair.

The best thing about dancing is there's no need to talk, Vernon decides. And not because he’s scared of what would come out of his mouth if he opened it, but because he doesn’t need a reminder of how they've known each other for years and never quite figured out how to do that. People learn that they share two languages and think that means their connection is deeper, but the truth is nearly all their conversations end three exchanges in, most often with a yeah.

There's a presence to his right, Vernon realises, a hand that feels distinctly un-Joshua slightly squeezing his bicep. Probably to attract his attention, not just to feel him up, but he's not sure there is any attention he can give right now. He mentally apologises to whoever it might be. There's a hand on Joshua's bicep as well, however, and, unlike Vernon, Joshua is turning his head, polite smile coming up once again. He can hear them exchanging some comments, Jisoo – of course it's Jisoo – quietly laughing at one point. She’s moving to the beat too, he notices. Weird that there being another person doesn't break the moment, although he can feel that won't last very long, as awkwardness begins to seep back into his body. For now, her being there only makes the whole thing feel more real, like there's a witness to the unusual energy between them, someone else who knows how Joshua can apparently look at him. Also, her touch feels nice.

Before he can get too lost in his head, Jisoo asks, this time loud enough for both of them to hear, squeezing his bicep once again. "Do you guys want to get out of here?"

Vernon’s heart thumps. He can almost hear the record scratch. There’s no room for thinking she could be talking to someone else, no room for deflection.

Joshua doesn’t laugh it off. He doesn’t say no, sorry, you’ve misunderstood. What he does is turn his head to meet Vernon's eyes, expression blank, a single eyebrow lifted. He waits for him to answer.

Vernon finds himself nodding, taken by the current, unable to put his feet down in the sand.

"Yeah, sure".

***

When they leave the club, Joshua has his hand on Vernon’s lower back. When they kiss in Joshua’s apartment half an hour later, the hand on his back belongs to Jisoo. When he leaves the apartment, they still haven’t exchanged more than five words at a time.

Edited (formatting) 2022-01-10 23:09 (UTC)

Re: [FILL] matching your footsteps

slytherminie - 2022-01-11 09:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] matching your footsteps

bluewhale - 2022-01-12 10:07 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“...it still fascinates me that you can have these massive feelings that are lodged away inside of you somewhere and you don’t have access to them until you allow yourself to, until you get out of your own way.”

Every morning I wake up
From a dream of you holding me
Underwater (Is that a dream or a memory?)
Held my breath for a decade
Dyed my hair blue to match my lips
Cool of me to try (Pretty cool I'm still alive)

Ship/Member: Seokmin/Jihoon
Major Tags: Idolverse
Additional Tags: N/A
Permission to remix: Yes

A/N: not that anyone asked, but i'm the same anon from this (https://17hols.dreamwidth.org/7664.html?thread=319728#cmt319728) fill lol here i am writing about jihoon again 🤸 i hope this doesn't suck too much

***

"Sometimes I just need to get out of the building," Seokmin said, the first time he showed up outside Jihoon's bedroom door. "That way I can trick myself into thinking that I'm walking away from it."

The smarter version of Seokmin, the one who lives in his head and doesn't do stupid things, scoffed and rolled his eyes. Walking away. More like walking into oncoming traffic.

Jihoon hummed, a hand coming up to rub at his eye. "Walking away from what?"

"The stuff I'm dealing with. Like, in general," Seokmin said nervously, wondering if Jihoon could tell he was lying. Wondering if Jihoon could see into his brain, where a huge neon sign probably reads: I drive myself crazy thinking about how much I want you. I'm terrified that you'll find out and never want to speak to me again. I need to see you, I need to touch you, I need to hear your voice, to convince myself that I haven't ruined this.

If Jihoon suspected anything, it didn't show on his face. "Okay," he said, shutting his bedroom door behind him, slipping off his indoor slides in favor of his outdoor slides. "GS25?"

-

kyeomja
hyung are u awake

wooja
yep

kyeomja
🏪🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🔜🍜🍬🥤🥺🙏

wooja
why don't you ever ask like a normal person
come down in 10min!

He'd do this for any of us, Seokmin tries to remind himself, but still can't tamp down the fluttering of his heart.

"So, what's on your mind?" Jihoon asks, shoving his hands into his puffer coat. He looks cute in the winter cold - pink ears, pink nose, pink lips.

"There's this audition I'm going to," Seokmin replies. It's not really a lie, and that makes him feel a bit better. "It's for this new musical. The timing is kind of bad, rehearsals will probably overlap with the comeback, but…"

There's a beat. Jihoon waits to see if Seokmin will finish his thought. When Seokmin doesn't continue, Jihoon shifts closer to nudge Seokmin's hip. "You know that none of us will take it against you, right? We know how much you care about the group."

I care about you the most, Seokmin wants to say. Your opinion matters to me more than anyone else's.

Seokmin nudges back, trying his best to put on a playful smile. "If I get it, will you be sitting in the front row?"

"Always," Jihoon says easily, reaching up to pinch Seokmin's cheek.

Seokmin wants to die.

Jihoon is never too loud about his affection, but over the years, Seokmin has learned where to look. He notices that Jihoon makes it a point to reach out first - resting his head on Seokmin’s shoulder as they sit in the corner of a practice room, cheerfully climbing onto Seokmin’s back when they play fight, laying a heavy arm around Seokmin’s waist and snuggling in close if they’re sharing a bed.

Seokmin is convinced he’s not an exception to the rule. Jihoon is just attentive like that, making subtle adjustments to his demeanor depending on the situation, depending on the person he’s talking to.

Out of necessity, all thirteen of them have learned a thing or two about this intricate dance, through a lengthy process of trial and error. People who grow up together don’t have to stay together, and Seokmin knows how rare and wonderful it is to have what they have. He could never forgive himself if he ruined it all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Later, Jihoon finds Seokmin in the candy aisle, where he's debating between getting gummy sharks or gummy worms. "Hey, check it out," Jihoon says with a grin. He holds out a perfectly puffy bag of chips for Seokmin's approval. "Pizza flavor. Do you think it's worth a shot?"

Seokmin stares at Jihoon's hands - they're pretty, he's always thought so.

"Sure," Seokmin says, and wishes it were true.

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

infrequencies - 2021-12-29 14:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2021-12-29 17:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

cruelsummers - 2021-12-29 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-02 07:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

hyojungss - 2021-12-30 01:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-02 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

slytherminie - 2021-12-30 10:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-02 07:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2021-12-30 15:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-02 07:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

greycheonsa - 2021-12-30 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] held my breath for a decade

(Anonymous) - 2022-01-02 07:46 (UTC) - Expand

[FILL] feel it in my face when i least expect it

lovekyeoms - 2022-01-06 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] feel it in my face when i least expect it

seokmin_liker - 2022-01-08 14:55 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Hoshi/Wonwoo / Wonwoo/Woozi
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: yearning, you me against the world but they say our love is doomed, basically if cql were played by svt members lol
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Lan Wangji: 你把我當成什麼人? / What kind of person do you take me for?

Wei Wuxian: 我曾經把你當做我畢生知己 / I had once thought that, in my lifetime, you would be the one who knew me.

Lan Wangji: 現在仍是 / I still am.

- Episode 25, The Untamed

He is half of my soul, as the poets say.

- Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death

- Saturn, Sleeping At Last

是与非都过往 / Once together, now it’s all in the past

- Xiao Zhan & Wang Yibo, Wuji

***

I'm sorry if this is a lot but feel free to just hand-pick whichever quote speaks to you the most!!! Also, if you need more brain worms for the first quote, read at the very end of this post for a different reinrerpretation of it: https://hunxi--guilai-tumblr-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/hunxi-guilai.tumblr.com/post/612161034673946624/all-right-guys-lets-have-a-conversation-about/amp?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16407405172354&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fhunxi-guilai.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F612161034673946624%2Fall-right-guys-lets-have-a-conversation-about

Edited 2021-12-29 02:23 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Hoshi
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: references to being stabbed? and dying?
Permission to remix: Yes

i don't know how closely this fit the prompt but it's cql and it's soonwoo so. here we are

***

Mask ripped off, Soonyoung’s freed hair flutters in a gentle breeze. It feels wrong, somehow. How can the wind be timid in the middle of such a storm? The entire cultivation world surrounding them with swords drawn, everything unraveling in slow motion and Soonyoung and Wonwoo, alone in the center of it.

Soonyoung looks to Wonwoo, expecting to see the storm around them reflected there as well. But there is no swirling indecision, no guilt or doubt. Wonwoo looks at him with warmth and calm and something Soonyoung has only glimpsed so rarely he isn’t even sure what to name it, but it looks like happiness.

“Are you smiling?” Soonyoung asks, incredulous.

Wonwoo nods.

And Soonyoung likes to think of himself of an optimist. Dying and coming back again tends to do that to you—you either find a way to still have hope or you might as well still be dead. But despite that, a flicker of worry does still cross his mind. Is this the end for them?

Soonyoung knows they’re friends now, or something like it. But Wonwoo has been faced with this choice before—Soonyoung or the world—and Soonyoung buries the part of himself that wants Wonwoo to change his mind as deep as he can, down with the memories of everyone he’s lost. Because the world isn’t kind to people who are against it. Wonwoo can still leave, claim Soonyoung blackmailed him or tricked him and go back to his real life, the one he’s built in all the years Soonyoung was gone.

But Wonwoo’s smiling like he knows something Soonyoung doesn’t. Soonyoung tries to shake Wonwoo’s grip on his wrist, tries to tell him to go, and Wonwoo just keeps looking at him.

“Why?” Soonyoung doesn’t qualify the question. Wonwoo knows what he’s asking, probably even better than Soonyoung does himself.

“I’m glad,” Wonwoo whispers. “To get the chance to do what I couldn’t before.”

The smooth sound of Wonwoo’s sword being drawn, the gasps of the crowd of onlookers, the pounding of Soonyoung’s heart in his ears.

“To stand by you this time,” Wonwoo says.

There are scenes in life that can only make sense when the whole story is over. Soonyoung likes to think that maybe that’s wisdom, to know when such a scene is playing out. And he certainly hasn’t been wise for most of his life. Countless times he’s stood here like this, staring into Wonwoo’s eyes while the busy world around them stills, and Soonyoung has blinked first. He’s looked away and made a joke, he’s snapped and turned away Wonwoo’s kindness. He’s bitterly spat out words he regretted until his dying moments and then some. But now he finally sees the whole story, sees Wonwoo’s patience and concern for what it was.

To be fair, Wonwoo could have just said he loved Soonyoung. He clearly hadn’t intended to leave Soonyoung a puzzle he’d have to die to put together, but sliding the pieces together now, it’s obvious. The whole story plays out differently now in Soonyoung’s mind now that he knows what to look for.

And it’s still a little scary to let himself accept this but isn’t it also the least he can do, as long as Wonwoo has been offering? It must be scary for Wonwoo too but he stands strong and beautiful as ever, lips quirked and sword ready to fight with Soonyoung. They always have made a great team.

Soonyoung nods. “Let’s do this then.”

***

And with as much as Soonyoung has gained today, a stab wound feels like a pretty good trade.

Wonwoo would scold him for saying that, if he said it aloud. Maybe that’s why Wonwoo keeps quiet so often.

“Sorry,” Soonyoung says when Wonwoo enters the room and sets a tray by the bed.

Wonwoo’s brow furrows until he notices the blood stains in the sheets that Soonyoung is gesturing to. “It’s fine,” Wonwoo says. “Some of us know how to do laundry.”

“I’m also sorry about the, um,” Soonyoung clears his throat. “The years of totally misunderstanding you and your feelings.”

Wonwoo blinks. “My what?”

Soonyoung pats the narrow space left in the bed and waits for Wonwoo to join him. Once he’s sat down, Soonyoung takes his hand and watches the blush spread up Wonwoo’s cheeks. “In my defense, you were a little hard to read. But still, even after I rose from the grave—”

Wonwoo coughs at that, looking offended on Soonyoung’s behalf at the phrasing, and wow, Soonyoung loves him a lot.

“I was still an idiot. I was being oblivious while you spent all this time pining and longing—”

“No, I did not,” Wonwoo interjects softly.

“Oh. Okay, cool, guess that was just me then? Wow, this is awkward, uh—”

“I have spent all this time loving you.”

Soonyoung shuts his mouth.

“To long for would imply I… expected something different. Was unsatisfied with the way things are between us. That is not the case. I simply loved you. I was happy with whatever I had with you, and would continue to be, so long as it is what makes you happy too.”

Soonyoung starts to protest, but this might be the longest he’s ever heard Wonwoo speak at once, so he kind of wants to see how long he can last.

“I could never be less than satisfied with whatever form of relationship I have with you,” Wonwoo continues. Amazing. “Because that would imply there is a way to be unsatisfied in your presence. And there is not.”

“Wow,” Soonyoung says.

Leaning in to tilt their foreheads together, Wonwoo sighs, soft but deep.

The corners of Soonyoung’s eyes crinkle, staring back at him. “You know, I talk so much… I say so many words, I mean. It still amazes me, sometimes, when you catch on something I’ve said. That you can still pay attention to all of them.”

“I have a finely tuned Soonyoung filter,” Wonwoo says mildly. But his eyes are too soft, too focused intently on Soonyoung’s, for either of them to believe it.

Soonyoung laughs, swatting at Wonwoo’s arm. “Good! You’re gonna need it!” He scoots backwards onto the bed so that he can sit up properly. “Because I intend to stick around for a long time, so you’d better get good at it,” he continues, looking up at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo closes the distance between them, leaning down. A hand in Soonyoung’s hair, his lips on Soonyoung’s, a knee firmly planted in their bed.

The way I realized I was in love was that I realized what a weight it would be off my shoulders to spend the rest of my life with you, Soonyoung thinks. “Kiss me again,” is what he says.

Wonwoo does.

Re: [FILL] did someone say pain?

lattewon - 2021-12-30 16:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] did someone say pain?

soupfan420 - 2021-12-31 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] did someone say pain?

blankpostit - 2021-12-31 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] did someone say pain?

vampiredumpling - 2021-12-31 11:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] did someone say pain?

verneeverse - 2021-12-31 13:58 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any, Mingyu/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

We had this big wide city all to ourselves
We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you"
And for the first time, I had something to lose
And I guess we fell apart in the usual way
And the story's got dust on every page
But sometimes, I wonder how you think about it now
And I see your face in every crowd
-Taylor Swift, Holy Ground

Ship/Member: Any, Mingyu/Wonwoo, Wonwoo/Any, Jeonghan/Seokmin, Jeonghan/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: bleak boybandisms? future fic? companionship forced by circumstance?
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

You think I'm so cruel
But I'm just doing all the things that you do
-TWICE, Cruel

Ship/Member: Im Nayoung/Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: i’m crazy but i’m free, idolverse
Permission to remix: Yes
WC: 835
A/N: look... i know this is a seventeen fest however,

***

Jeonghan dated Seungcheol for three months and immediately following that Nayoung went and dated him for four. “I think it was out of spite,” she concluded after explaining to Jiyeon that it wasn’t ever much of a passionate affair. “He was really nice to me, though. Which I think makes him a much better person than I am.”

“It’s hard to be a good girl all the time,” Jiyeon said, smiling over her coffee. She spoke with a sort of resignation that six or seven additional years of industry experience necessitated. “You have to take the little victories, right?”

Nayoung nodded. “I’m glad I have you to talk to, unnie,” she said, sipping her iced tea and looking out the window. It was a dreary summer day and their drama series was doing absolutely terrible in the ratings.

-

Nayoung thought it would be much easier to simply cut off all her old attachments and start over, but unfortunately there was still a bit of sentiment in her. The only answer to this was compartmentalization.

“Things I need here, things that go in the garbage in that box,” she said, directing Yerin to half-formed piles of papers and photos on the floor of her room.

“This is an organized mess,” Yerin observed. “I bet no one could tell you’re supposed to be moving out in two days.”

“Thank you,” Nayoung answered, and continued unloading old junk out of her closet.

Heehyun wouldn’t be there until the afternoon, which was probably better because she had a much deeper understanding of Nayoung’s lingering feelings. With Yerin it was easier to reply to “Do you want to keep this?” with a no after a half-second glance and leave it at that, where Heehyun, who had lived through that era of her life with her, would say, “Are you really sure you want to let go of this?” and it’d be something like an autographed album from some no-name rookie group she’d exchanged with during her third debut promotion cycle, and of course she didn’t want to keep it but now that she’s had to think about it for so long maybe she does have second thoughts.

And that still counted as one of the easy choices.

“This is trash?” Yerin asked. She held a jeweled flower hair clip in her hand. “It’s so pretty, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.”

“Why are you going through the trash pile,” Nayoung despaired. “And no, I want it.”

-

Seungcheol had said yes to her, which was all she needed. He’d do the rest of the work on his own. And she only had to last four months.

-

Yerin missed the torn envelope and note she’d kept with it all these years, and tried to toss away with it too. The clip stayed in her accessories box until Nayoung unpacked it again months later, having already decided to leave her hair down for the day. “Use this,” she asked her hair stylist later that morning, when she was preparing to film for a magazine. There would be a video component uploaded on the internet, but by that point she knew they would already have changed the look to something else.

The photoshoot director really liked the design though, and asked Nayoung to keep it on anyway.

-

Yoon Jeonghan showed up at her metaphorical doorstep the next month, which is to say he clearly actively sought her out. “I’m collaborating with Choi Youngjae,” he said, when she saw him in the agency lobby with an iced Americano in hand and gave the blankest look possible.

“No you’re not,” Nayoung said, and Jeonghan shrugged.

“I wanted to see Hani-sunbaenim,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

“That’s slightly more believable.”

“I’m looking for an acting agency.”

She blinked. “Wow, I really hope you’re not. You’d be scary at acting.”

“Scary good at it,” Jeonghan said with a grin. Nayoung was suddenly aware that the staff she’d been working with for years were watching them as they got their own coffees and it was really very humiliating.

“I can’t be seen with you,” she said, half-honest. “You shouldn’t be loitering in someone else’s workplace.”

“It’s not just your workplace, you know,” he said. Nayoung didn’t respond. “In all seriousness, I’m waiting for my manager to get back from the bathroom. I really am here to be in talks for some end-of-year collaboration thing with Youngjae. Junnie made him eat something spicy this morning and I think he’s still feeling the aftereffects.”

“That doesn’t actually surprise me. I think you’ve always masked your real intentions by putting them forward first,” Nayoung said. I don’t miss that, she didn’t say, having those types of schedules.

Jeonghan smiled again, the rewards of knowing and being known.

“And you’ve always been good at reading through them, no matter what trick I tried.”

“I learned from the best,” she said simply.

“I think you were good enough at it before we started dating,” Jeonghan replied.

Re: [FILL] imitation

kisoap - 2021-12-31 19:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] imitation

deadwine - 2022-01-04 10:59 (UTC) - Expand

[REMIX] drop a heart, break a name

deadwine - 2022-01-06 12:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [REMIX] drop a heart, break a name

hyojungss - 2022-01-07 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] imitation

thisisrose - 2022-01-15 22:50 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any, Jihoon, Soonyoung, or Seungkwan-centric if it moves you
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse, burnout
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

My old aches become new again / My old friends become exes again

The reality is that for a certain number of people, all I’ve ever done, all I ever will do, and all I ever had the capacity to do worth a damn was a record I began recording when I was 18 years old. [...] I guess I’m just angry because he illuminates why I’m a 27 has-been. (source)

Edited 2021-12-29 02:45 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Jihoon
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: character study, idolverse, burnout?
Permission to remix: Yes

***

“Music is not about the man behind it, and therefore any interest people have in me is unwarranted. All they need to know, all they should want to know, is already there in the music.”- THROAM

Jihoon is twenty years old and his shoulders are not wide enough for the weight that’s been placed on them. When it was just a few of them, the idea of composing seemed fun, exciting. There are twelve other boys now, an entire company, his own pride like a metal breastplate. If he thinks about it too much he can’t breathe. So, he doesn’t.

Jihoon is twenty years old the first and only time he lets himself cry about it. Cameras pointed at all of them and he can’t help the tears that leak from his eyes. Seungcheol is the closest to understanding, but even he can’t really grasp what it feels like. Jihoon makes the music that will decide their careers. The company is already scraping a budget together. There is no second chance. They have to be perfect. He has to be perfect. The problem is that Jihoon has never been able to be anything but himself.

It’s a modest success. No debut trophy, but they make an impact. The weight should be lifted but it isn’t. It’s almost worse. Here is what they sound like, here is what Woozi of Seventeen can do. Now he has to do better. Between practice and composing he barely sees the dorm. Seungcheol’s eyes linger on his in the hall next to the tiny space he’s carved out for himself. He’s worried, but Seungcheol is starting to get it now. This is something that Jihoon has to carry. So he does.

It takes Jihoon a long time to accept the weight. He works out, he goes to practice, and he spends night after night in the studio. He gets stronger. The pressure never lessens, no, Jihoon just gets better at managing it. Maybe they all do. Years in and everything feels easier. Jihoon hears their parts while he’s writing. He knows everything about the group. Strengths and weaknesses and how to divide parts to keep everyone as happy as he can.

Sometimes Jihoon thinks about enlistment, disbandment. Will he be satisfied with what he’s left behind? What is the truth and what is a lie dressed up for the public? None of it feels sustainable. Jihoon is twenty six years old and the only thing he is good for is carving out pieces of himself and putting them in songs. Money and fame and sleepless nights. Old aches and old friends and music as his only constant.

Eventually, the creative well will run dry. What will he be good for then?

Re: [FILL] ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

infrequencies - 2021-12-30 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

leomoonwonu - 2022-01-23 02:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

cruelsummers - 2022-01-02 10:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

leomoonwonu - 2022-01-23 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: triangulation triangulation triangulation, self-hatred
Do Not Wants: N/A (just handle it carefully)

Prompt:

Hi Frances. I'm not angry at you, I want you to know that. I'm just getting in touch with you because I think it's important that we're on the same page with this. Nick doesn't want to leave me & I don't want to leave him. We are going to keep living together & being married. I'm putting this in an e-mail because I don't trust Nick to be straight with you about it. He has a weak personality & compulsively tells people what they want to hear. In short if you're sleeping with my husband because you secretly believe that one day he will be your husband, then you're making a serious mistake. He's not going to divorce me & if he did he would never marry you.

//

Are you making my husband better, Frances? What gives you the right to do that?

//

But I always said I wanted him to be happy, & now I know it was true all along. I do want that. Even when it looks like this I still want it.

-- conversations with friends, sally rooney

Ship/Member: jeonghan/seungcheol(/joshua)
Major Tags: infidelity (implied)
Additional Tags: none
Permission to remix: please ask!

*

When Seungcheol proposes to Jeonghan, Joshua is the first to know.

It’s on purpose, he’s sure. It has to be deliberate. Jeonghan’s eyes stay on him as he retells the conversation, laughing as though it’s nothing. Isn’t Seungcheol so funny? It was ridiculous of him to ask, Jeonghan says airily, waving a dismissive hand. It’s not like they can even do it for real.

“So you aren’t going to do it?” Joshua asks, then, unable to keep the words trapped beneath his tongue where they belong, and Jeonghan’s gaze cuts to his, sharp.

“Of course I am,” he answers immediately. Not quite a snap, but close enough. All his humour gone just like that. Joshua smiles at him, blank and bland.

“I’m happy for you, then,” he says, heart slamming against his ribs.

He is.

He is happy.

Why wouldn’t he be happy?

*

“Marriage is such a big step,” Seungkwan says at dinner when Jeonghan tells the group. The words may be careful but his eyes are wide and impressed, clearly excited at the prospect. Jeonghan’s grin is smug, the cat who got the canary. Having his cake and eating it too.

“Well, it’s just Seungcheollie,” he says. “I’ve known him forever, you know. There’s no one I trust more.”

Seungcheol is sitting next to him and ignoring the rest of them to beam at Jeonghan, eyes liquid with emotion, arm not budging from its perpetual rest around his shoulder. Joshua can’t stop staring, imagining the warm weight of it.

Jeonghan is so loved. Has always been so loved.

On the other side of the table Joshua sits next to Junhui, three friendly centimetres between their arms, and says nothing, does nothing. Eats nothing, even when Vernon gestures questioningly towards the grill with the tongs. When Minghao excuses himself for a smoke a little white later he follows him out without a second thought, making an excuse about needing to get some fresh air that no one hears except Junhui next to him, who barely even looks up from his food.

Outside the restaurant Minghao tilts his head in polite bemusement when Joshua comes up next to him, hesitantly offering a cigarette and looking relieved when he refuses. Joshua shoves his hands into his pockets and just stands there. It’s awkward, honestly, but not enough to make him want to go back in.

“You’re not happy for him?” Minghao asks, finally, around an exhaled mouthful of smoke. Joshua freezes.

“Of course I am.”

Minghao doesn't look convinced, a flat expression of disbelief on his face.

“You're out here,” he points out. Joshua’s stomach roils, turning itself into knots. His palms are clammy.

“I am happy for him,” he lies, tasting ash in his mouth. “He's my best friend. I love — I am happy.”

Minghao stares at him as he stubs out his cigarette.

“Okay,” he says, finally. “Do you want to go back inside?”

Joshua doesn’t.

“Sure.”

His mouth forms the word on its own.

*

When it’s time to leave the three of them share a cab, Seungcheol whining and laughing when Jeonghan makes him squeeze into the middle. Joshua stares out the window and wonders if this means Jeonghan is going to move out. Seungcheol isn’t even technically on their lease. Surely they’ll want something more permanent. Something that’s only for them.

Back at the apartment Seungcheol goes to the bathroom first, leaving Joshua and Jeonghan together in the kitchen. Joshua didn’t drink at the restaurant but Jeonghan did — his cheeks are flushed pink with it, an irritated little scowl on his face that means he’s already starting to get a headache.

Joshua’s hand is so much bigger than Jeonghan’s when he passes over a glass of water. They were the same size once, he remembers. He’s broader now, stronger, but Jeonghan is almost as narrow as he was when they were nineteen. His face looks soft and young in the light of the kitchen.

“Are you going to move out?” Joshua asks quietly, taking a sip of his water. “When you guys — you’ll want to get own place, right?”

“Why would we do that?” Jeonghan asks, face impassive, and Joshua flounders.

“Right,” he says, voice weak. “I just thought — ”

“We’re happy here together, aren’t we?” Jeonghan asks, not letting him finish. It isn’t really a question. The way he’s looking at him is making Joshua’s skin itch. The guilt bubbles in his stomach, nauseating and sour.

“Jeonghan,” he blurts out impulsively, setting his glass down on the counter. “I — ”

Jeonghan’s gaze sharpens. He says nothing, a silent challenge as he waits for Joshua to finish.

“I — ” Joshua starts again, trying, but at the look on Jeonghan’s face the words die in his throat. He’s a coward, he realizes. He’ll never say it out loud. He’ll never be able to tell Jeonghan what he did.

The softness from earlier is all gone from Jeonghan’s face, now, his expression obstinately blank. He’ll never admit that he knows, either. Joshua wonders if it’ll be like this forever. If he’ll ever pull himself free.

Between the two of them, he isn’t sure who he hates more.

“Everything okay?” Seungcheol asks, startling both of them as he comes up behind Jeonghan to wrap his arms around his waist. Jeonghan flinches before he relaxes into it, leaning back to rest his head against Seungcheol’s shoulder. Joshua wonders, as he always does, what it would be like to have that for real.

You did, he reminds himself. He did have it, just that once. It’s just that he didn’t do it right.

It’s just that he wasn’t enough.

“Yeah,” he manages, now, his tongue heavy and swollen in his mouth. “Everything’s fine.”

Seungcheol smiles at Joshua, warm and pleasant, before he presses a kiss to Jeonghan’s temple. Joshua smiles back, but Seungcheol doesn’t see it.

“Great,” he replies, already distracted by the curve of Jeonghan’s neck. “I’m glad.”

But I always said I wanted him to be happy, & now I know it was true all along. I do want that. Even when it looks like this I still want it.

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

yilinges - 2021-12-29 20:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

symbolised - 2021-12-29 21:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

jibes - 2021-12-29 21:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

sunwalkr - 2021-12-29 21:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

slytherminie - 2021-12-29 22:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

cruelsummers - 2021-12-29 22:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

hyojungss - 2021-12-30 02:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

fleurissons - 2021-12-30 12:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

amoteamame - 2022-01-02 08:33 (UTC) - Expand

[FILL] French exits for me and you

surjamukhi - 2022-01-03 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] French exits for me and you

seokmin_liker - 2022-01-03 11:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] French exits for me and you

hyojungss - 2022-01-04 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] French exits for me and you

heartspound - 2022-01-13 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

[FILL] tunnel vision

seokmin_liker - 2022-07-04 06:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

slytherminie - 2022-07-04 09:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

seokmin_liker - 2022-07-04 18:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

sunwalkr - 2022-07-04 14:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

sunwalkr - 2022-07-04 14:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

seokmin_liker - 2022-07-04 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

infrequencies - 2022-07-04 17:04 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

seokmin_liker - 2022-07-04 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

tullycat - 2022-07-04 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

seokmin_liker - 2022-07-04 18:07 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any but maybe consider woncheol, gyuhan, minwon, or jicheol, OR MAYBE ALL OF THE ABOVE BECAUSE LET'S CREATE CHAOS WHY DON'T WE
Major Tags: Sexual Content, Red Light District, Forbidden Love (maybe)
Additional Tags: Historical Setting, Minor Violence, Unresolved Trauma, Unresolved to Resolved Sexual Tension Impending Doom, No One is Happy in the EndDo Not Wants: None

Prompt:

"I don’t just want your heart. I want your flesh, your skin and blood and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse and most of all your fingerprints, everywhere."

- Isabelle Thrilling

"Essentially moths are just less attractive butterflies. They do nothing wrong to us but we admire butterflies more because they are pretty and we are raised to be drawn to physical beauty but we kill moths because they are ugly and less attractive than butterflies because of their dull colours. That says a lot about our society, don’t you think?

Yet, he was a moth and underneath the plain colours of his exterior lay beauty that is unfathomable.

It’s a shame that I’m one of the few people blessed to love the moths."

- Unknown

"Monsters in your head,
Monsters in your heart,
Which will be the first to tear you apart?"

- H.L.

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: wanting what you should not want, self-loathing mixing with desire
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

God damn the black night with all its foul temptation
I become what I always hated
When I was with you then

-Death Cab for Cutie, We Looked Like Giants

Ship/Member: Junhui/Yanan
Major Tags: Mild Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, General Sword Stabbyness
Additional Tags: Forbidden Love, Betrayal ?, Royalty, Kingmaking
Permission to remix: Yes

918 words, Teen and up
if you peer at this too closely youll realise it has nothing at all to do with the prompt which .. idk how that happened but lets all collectively agree NOT to do that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36052324

Re: [FILL]: Like Giants

cruelsummers - 2021-12-29 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any, Mingyu, Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: maybe idolverse? the way fame changes someone, tbh go wherever you like
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

To know me is to hate me
Is to hate what I've become
It's to watch me as I'm fallin'
From that ladder's last rung
It's to feel bad, like a secret you can't keep in
I'm not the way I was
I'm not the way I was

- Godlight by Noah Kahan

Edited (forgot the credit) 2021-12-29 07:50 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: mourning, not necessarily death
Do Not Wants: None

u know when 1/3rd a trio is out of the picture somehow (died/left the industry/switched sides) and the two left over grow closer/drift apart in their absence, feeling the ghost of the third e v e r y w h e r e... it's about the vacuum the SPACE WHERE A PERSON USED TO BE the SILENCE THAT'S LOUDER THAN WHEN THEY WERE AROUND

Prompt:

there's a grief that can't be spoken / there's a pain goes on and on / empty chairs at empty tables / now my friends are dead and gone

—les mis

Ship/Member: Seungkwan/Hansol/Chan, Chan-centric
Major Tags: major character death, kind of inspired by hereditary (that one scene, yeah)
Additional Tags: mourning, grief mismanagement, trauma, hurt/(little)comfort?
Permission to remix: Yes

i'm sorry to be ringing in 2022 with this. this prompt just made me go a bit insane i think. happy new year everyone, especially our lovely mods!! <3

***

When Chan came home from the party, the first thing he did was scream. He opened the door, staggered in through the doorway, and yelled so loud it woke up their neighbors. They called the police, and the police found Hansol–most of him, at least, in the car, and then the rest, in the driveway.

At least that was how it happened, according to Seungkwan.

Chan doesn’t remember that part. He only remembers the ride home. Driving, windows open, night breeze whipping his hair around. He remembers Hansol’s drunken laughter, so loud and so bright that it filled Chan with a permanent kind of love, and then–

He can’t remember who he screamed for when he came home. If it had been Seungkwan or Hansol. Chan could ask, but he doesn’t think it’d matter. Calling for one of them had always meant calling both of them. It’s the same, even now. It’s why Chan can’t bring himself to say Seungkwan’s name. Even if he wants to, so badly.

He keeps his mouth shut, lodges Seungkwan’s name in his throat. It’s a little like piling rocks, Seungkwan’s on top of Hansol’s.

It isn’t a graveyard, Chan tells himself. Not yet.

Hansol has always had a quiet presence. In between Seungkwan and Chan talking over each other, Hansol would mostly nod and listen. He picked up on their back and forth with an ease that came as natural as breathing.

He was good at that, even if he never picked sides. He’d tuck a strand of hair behind Seungkwan’s ear and ruffle Chan's hair whenever they made him choose.

Sometimes, Seungkwan and Chan would argue just to be soothed by him. They would argue over movie night picks, laundry detergent brands, and pasta sauces. Once, they argued over Chan’s It’s not for me, It’s for the baby! shirt for date night, and Seungkwan only stopped huffing until Hansol tucked him underneath his arm, with Chan, still in the same shirt, underneath the other.

That was the kind of person Hansol is–was. Hansol used to be that person. Chan and Seungkwan’s person. The person who cradled Seungkwan’s face and brushed Chan’s hair back. Dried their tears and shushed their mouths.

Now, Hansol’s just a point in time. This ghost sitting in between before and after, at a middle ground that Seungkwan and Chan can’t reach.

Sometimes, when they eat dinner together, Chan imagines himself back in the car. The blissful seconds before, the cut of silence after. Holding Hansol’s hand tightly even as it slackened against his own.

He remembers that part so well. If only because that’s how it feels now when he hears Seungkwan’s fork scrape against his plate. Dinners have turned into Seungkwan making small quick bites that Chan knows Seungkwan will throw up into the toilet right after.

Chan always waits for Seungkwan to finish, just because he refuses to be the one to leave the table first. He has it memorized now. Seungkwan gulps down his water, wipes his mouth on the napkin, and excuses himself without a word.

This time, after Seungkwan sets his glass on the table, he asks, “How are you?”

Chan blinks and waits, just to double-check. To make sure it happened. That Seungkwan, after six weeks and four days of radio silence, has finally spoken to him again.

“I said,” Seungkwan clears his throat. His voice is strained, like he forced the words out, pushed them through his own pile of rocks. “How are you? Are you okay?”

Before Chan can reply, Seungkwan continues, “Don’t–don’t sneer at me. I’m asking you a question. Properly. Politely.”

We’re never polite with each other, Chan thinks. “I’m not sneering at you. I don’t sneer at you, Seungkwan.”

“Hyung,” he corrects. “Listen, if you don't walk to talk about it–"

"I don't want to talk about it?" Chan asks, incredulous. "You're the one who hasn't talked to me in weeks!"

It's muscle memory, the way he turns to the side, ready to give Hansol one of his Can you believe this guy? looks, ready to receive one of Hansol's Really? You are exactly the same looks back, except–

He remembers a second too late. The back of Hansol's chair glares at him, and there it is again, just like in the car: the cut of silence.

This is the part where Hansol would laugh, hands in the air, going, “Don’t look at me. I’m not the authority on this.” This is the part where Chan gives in, because he can’t help it when Hansol laughs, and this is the part where Seungkwan does too, because he’s exactly the same.

Instead of that, there’s only Seungkwan’s hand, reaching across the table to hold his own. This is Seungkwan’s white flag. The apology written in the lines of his palm.

Chan uncurls his fist, lets go of the steering wheel to let their palms meet. He intertwines their fingers, and they hold the white flag together in a desperate grip.

They fall into bed. Or Chan pushes Seungkwan into the bed and climbs on top of him. Even in surrender, their hands are unkind. Too much teeth, and not enough licks, but it’s home. Part of Seungkwan is finally home.

Grief tastes like Seungkwan’s mouth, and Chan opens up to get his fill.

Tucked underneath Seungkwan’s arms, Chan feels himself expand a bit, like a little balloon that can take off to the skies. Before sleep can finally pull him down, he feels a soft press of lips against his forehead, right on his bumpy scar.

“Hansol,” Seungkwan whimpers, “Hansol-ah,” and Chan wants to echo the name, press it against Seungkwan’s skin too.

Instead, he pulls Seungkwan down, until they’re eye to eye, noses brushing. Their legs and arms are so tangled together that it almost feels like they’re complete.

Chan cradles Seungkwan’s face, the same way Hansol used to. His hands aren’t as big, but they fit against the curve of Seungkwan’s cheek. “I’m here,” Chan whispers.

His voice startles Seungkwan's as much as it startles him. He'd almost forgotten what he'd sounded like, when he was gentle.

Seungkwan sniffs, bottom lip trembling. He's going to cry all night, Chan knows, but he's relieved Seungkwan's finally doing it in front of him.

He turns his face to kiss Chan's palm. “Me too."

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

seokmin_liker - 2022-01-01 09:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

vampiredumpling - 2022-01-07 12:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

sunwalkr - 2022-01-01 10:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

vampiredumpling - 2022-01-07 12:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

cruelsummers - 2022-01-02 10:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

vampiredumpling - 2022-01-07 12:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

jibes - 2022-01-04 11:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

vampiredumpling - 2022-01-07 12:57 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any, Seungcheol/Chan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: hyung (derogatory)
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

There is so much to forgive, but you do not
know how to forget.
When is a monster not a monster?
Oh, when you are the reason it has become so mangled.
-Caitlyn Siehl, Start Here

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: none
Additional Tags: multiverse, reincarnation?, soulmates maybe
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Whichever road I take, they all turn into you
Someday you will know it too
I’ll run toward the starlight
I’ll remember you
Then I’ll reach out again to you

— Crossroads, GFRIEND

Ship/Member: Soonyoung/Wonwoo
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: multiverses! in the order of the scenes: Grishaverse/Fantasy, Edge of Tomorrow/Apocalypse AU, Heist AU (please keep spider KSY and RWY 007 ver. JWW in mind), Vampire/Supernatural AU, Idolverse.
Permission to remix: Yes

OP I think I took liberties with this but I hope you enjoyed it regardless ^___^ title is from Sleeping At Last's Venus

***

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.

— Unending Love, Rabindranath Tagore.

/

Light came in a blinding cascade. It receded in acknowledgement of Soonyoung's presence, revealing a snowy mountaintop. Something flickered in the distance. Soonyoung blinked. The cold bit into his eyelids as the scenery morphed.

In a ghostly lit cavern, a young was man tending to the hearth. His fingers danced and the flames followed.

Generations before Soonyoung's time, the Council received a prophecy from the Saints: a child of darkness will swallow the world whole. Within a year, the First Army had wiped out every shadow summoner and their family.

True darkness, Soonyoung often thought, is the one residing in man's heart.

Wonwoo's light-summoning ability came as a surprise to everyone but Soonyoung, who had been close enough to notice the golden specks in his irises. He had felt the heat of the sun trapped under his skin and tasted the power in Wonwoo's tongue.

If only he knew, why he was helplessly drawn; moth to a flame. If only he knew—

Shadows crawled on the walls, following the command Soonyoung's heart spoke. Wonwoo turned away from the fire. Their gazes met. He said nothing, but he never needed to say anything. The connection between them allowed Soonyoung into his mind.

Stay where you are. I will come to you.

"Wonwoo," he called out, before the darkness caved in on them.

/

"What is it?" He opened his eyes, staring at Soonyoung from his own crib. Soonyoung would have apologised for waking him up, but one look at Wonwoo and he knew he hadn't been sleeping.

"This time tomorrow…"

"This time tomorrow," Wonwoo interrupted, voice rough with exhaustion and stubborn determination, "we'd be here again. Bruised and battered, but here again."

Eleven others received the same assignment. Seungcheol was snoring to kingdom come on the bed above Soonyoung, Seokmin grinning in his sleep on the one to his left. Jeonghan, as always, was nowhere to be found—their unit's impending death had likely worsened his insomnia.

After all, they were being deployed to the frontline at 0600 hours. The probability of all of them surviving past midday was slimmer than none.

"The world is going to end, Wonwoo-yah," Soonyoung answered. "Wouldn't it be cruel not to kiss me at least once before it does?"

Ever since the Mimics arrived, the world had been incessantly loud with the screams of metal and man alike. Wonwoo's thoughtful silence had become a comfort amidst the noise, but now Soonyoung feared it. He closed his eyes and steeled himself for rejection.

"Soonyoung-ah." Wonwoo's bed creaked. "I'm coming over there, okay?"

The world went off-kilter when Soonyoung rushed to meet him halfway.

/

"Be careful." The owner of the voice steadied Soonyoung by the waist. His touch seared through Soonyoung's thin gossamer shirt. The flowers in the shirt's appliqué bloomed under his fingers. Soonyoung's entire body crackled with desire.

"Is that a gun," Soonyoung drawled breathily, leaning back against the breadth of Wonwoo's chest, "or are you just that happy to see me, Inspector Jeon?"

He set his lips to the hollow behind Soonyoung's ear. "Both, Hoshi-ssi." His dangling earring swayed from the gust of Wonwoo's breath. "Or should I say, Kwon Soonyoung-ssi?"

No one had managed to discover his identity before. Hoshi was given on his calling card, placed elegantly above the white spiderweb spun on black cotton fibre, but Kwon Soonyoung was only known to those worthy of his name. As a thief, Soonyoung knew most about worth.

"I knew you'd find me," he sighed, pleased. Wonwoo's hand slid down to his hip. "Finally, the department assigned someone mildly competent to lead the hunt."

"Mildly competent?" asked Wonwoo, haughty.

"You haven't caught me, yet."

But I have caught you, Soonyoung thought giddily. He'd spent years scouring the world for exquisite artefacts to add to his collection, and Jeon Wonwoo would make the perfect centrepiece. He turned around, wanting to admire his beauty properly.

The inspector's soft lips brushed against his cheek.

/

"Oi, what the fuck," Soonyoung protested, pushing Wonwoo away.

"What?" Wonwoo blinked innocently. "You said to bite you."

"Yeah, but be sexier about it!"

"Be sexier?"

"The neck, Wonwoo," he sighed exasperatedly, bringing his index and middle finger together to tap at his pulse point. "The neck. Where the blood is?"

Wonwoo touched Soonyoung's cheek, the one he'd just playfully gnawed on moments ago. Heat gathered under his icy touch.

"From the looks of you," his gaze roamed appreciatively over Soonyoung's features, "I'd say my aim was impeccable."

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. It was his fault for still blushing like a maiden around Wonwoo. The mood was destroyed, but he suspected Wonwoo hadn't wanted to feed in the first place and was merely indulging him, so Soonyoung gave up trying to build it back up again.

"No dinner for you, then," he grumbled. "Come to bed, now. I guess we're turning in without foreplay like an old married couple."

Which, to Wonwoo's defence, they were.

"Okay," Wonwoo said happily.

When Wonwoo joined him under the sheets, his hand came to rest just to the left of Soonyoung's sternum. He murmured something in an ancient tongue, but Soonyoung knew a spell when he heard one. His ears recognised the protection Wonwoo cast over his heart—a possession of his in more ways than one.

/

He startled awake with a gasp.

"Go back to sleep." Wonwoo's deep timbre tamed Soonyoung's stuttering pulse. "It's not even six yet."

"I just had the most vivid series of dreams," he whispered, adjusting his eyes to the cool lighting of the bedroom.

Wonwoo could have easily gone back to sleep, but even with his consciousness ebbing and flowing, his inquisitiveness prevailed.

"Was I there?"

"Yeah."

“A series of dreams, you say?” Soonyoung hummed in response, gliding his hand up Wonwoo’s toned back. “How many did I star in?”

The answer was going to give Wonwoo’s ego the most pleasant stroke, but Soonyoung always got a stomachache after lying to him. It was already churning from the thought alone.

“All of them.”

"So, I'm the man of your dreams. Cool," he mumbled into the crook of Soonyoung's neck, sounding all too pleased with himself. “Tell me more about it at noon.”

Soonyoung snorted. What did he expect?

"Ass." He carded his fingers through Wonwoo's messy locks. "Well, I'm awake now. Might as well go practice."

"Right now?" Wonwoo asked, incredulous. Like Soonyoung hadn't done this countless times before. Like he wasn't going to accompany him and fall asleep in the corner, cap pulled down over his face. "Okay. Be careful on your way out, Mingyu's grumpy when you wake him up too early."

Soonyoung leaned in to kiss his boyfriend goodbye, swiping his tongue along the seam of his lips. An arm's reach was the most separation Wonwoo could bear before he said,

"Wait, I'll come with you."

Re: [FILL] astronomy in reverse

youremyflower - 2021-12-30 05:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] astronomy in reverse

blankpostit - 2021-12-31 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] astronomy in reverse

slytherminie - 2022-01-04 23:32 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: any, wonwoo/any,
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

but we both know how it goes – i say “i want you inside me” and you hold my head underwater, i say “i want you inside me” and you split me open with a knife.
-- richard siken

*subtly pushes for wonu ships*

Ship/Member: wonwoo/jeonghan/(woozi)
Major Tags: offscreen gang(?) violence
Additional Tags: mentions of blood and injury, ambiguous relationships, whatever the opposite of tender wound healing is
Permission to remix: Yes

A/N: by pure chance, exactly 400 words <3 sorry for second person i was in a mood

***

The first night Wonwoo comes to you, you don’t bother asking why.

No were you in the neighborhood, no did you miss hyung that much. No whose blood are you wearing.

He shows up at your officetel battered and bruised from something you'll coax out of him tomorrow—spiderweb lacerations all down his arms; an angry, dark gash along his jawline that you press your fingers against until his eyes go wide, until he grits his teeth. The way his breathing whistles tells you there's at least one cracked rib.

You see all of this, and remember Jihoon's steady instructions; his calm, professional tone. The things he's taught you about fixing someone when they need it.

But you’ve sworn you’ll never do anything Jihoon tells you to do.

There’s nothing in your medicine cabinet but cobwebs and an expired bottle of pills, anyway.

Dirty mouth, dirty nails, his skin is inch for inch the ghastly pale of a near-dead thing. You can’t help him—but help isn't what he's asking for. There’s a reason, after all, that Wonwoo is here instead of with Jihoon.

Some people are just better at causing pain than healing it, and some people don’t need to be healed no matter how damaged they look. He has no illusions about what hands like yours are capable of.

This is what you, and only you, can do: you can take his arm and hold it above your kitchen sink, empty the contents of an old bottle of vodka over it to hear the way his breath hisses through his teeth again and again as it burns the rawness of his flesh. You can turn his knobbly hand over in yours and duck your head (watching, always watching, how his eyes darken), lick the inside of his wrist where it drips into the drain, salt and iron and alcohol in your mouth and nothing, nothing sweet about it at all—and he might be a long way from home but when you do this, you can taste the city on him.

Jeonghan-hyung, he sighs later, when you take him to bed. Not gently, not kindly, but this is what he wants. This is what he needs. Light pollution filters through the slatted window, drawing prison bars over your tangled forms.

Shh, you whisper, smile so full of teeth. I've got you.

Re: [FILL] wishbone again

(Anonymous) - 2021-12-29 15:05 (UTC) - Expand

(deleted comment)

KIT <3 I’m not sure what happened but your comments are still here! on pg 8 of the main prompt page if you scroll down

(no subject)

bluerthanbluets - 2021-12-30 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

[ like weeds, baby, just open your eyes to see, he's growing from inside me and i just don't know what i can do, i thought i cut him at the root — marina ]

Ship/Member: Any besides seokgyu i wanna mix it up
Major Tags: mates (werewolves? other supernatural creatures/shapeshifters?), domesticity, hurt/comfort
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: a/b/o, serious injury

Prompt:

[ and we'll undress beside the ashes of the fire, both our tender bellies wound in baling wire, all the more a pair of underwater pearls than the oak tree and it's resurrection fern — iron & wine ]

Ship/Member: Any, Jun/Joshua
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: mythology, the swan and the archer, healing
Do Not Wants: MCD

Prompt:

[ hold me down, i'm so tired now, aim your arrow at the sky, take me down, i'm too tired now, leave me where i lie — florence & the machine ]

Ship/Member: Any, Soonyoung/Seungkwan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: verbal fights as a form of love
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

La comunicazione perfetta esiste, ed è un litigio.
[Perfect communication exists, and it's a fight.]

— Stefano Benni, Margherita Dolcevita

Ship/Member: Soonyoung/Seungkwan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: faking of death, stressed!boo, kwon soonyoung the impulsive good guy. space!
Permission to remix: Yes

***
Human beings like structure more than anything. They create rules to maintain this structure, they dictate what is deemed suitable at different situations, time and place. Seungkwan, the human being, sitting in space jail has not been prepared for this situation even in his wildest dreams.

He breathes in to the best of his abilities with the oxygen mask he has on, to help him you know survive. The place looks no different than what you expect out of a typical police station, the detective is an alien but seungkwan has never been one to judge. Actually that is a lie, there is one person he never could refrain from judging and he's sitting right in front of him in the jail cell.

"You stupid dumbass" seungkwan shouts, uncaring of his surrounding, focused only on the red head sitting behind bars.

"You utter moron" he is halfway through the list of every insult invented by mankind when he is interrupted.

"I missed you too seungkwan~ah" Soonyoung, the infamous red head has the audacity to utter those words.

" I cannot believe I'm stuck in space jail because of you, of all people. I didn't even know you were alive till you just showed up at my door, arm broken, pleading for help." Seungkwan rants.

"Are you angry with me ?" Soonyoung says pouting, clearly the man has a death wish.

" WHO WOULDN'T BE ANGRY, You showed up, ate all my breakfast after faking your death for three years Jesus Christ." Seungkwan's slightly out of breath.

" Seungkwan~ah" hoshi simply says.

" What. What is it?" Seungkwan feels the anger leaving him now that he's taken it all out Soonyoung. It's not like he was truly angry either, just worried, as he always is when Soonyoung is concerned.

" Did you really think I was dead? Me." Soonyoung has a smirk on his face and he wishes so much that they didn't have these bars in between so seungkwan could punch him to his heart's desire.

" Wah three years and you've not become even a bit more tolerable hyung."

" It's a part of my charm." Soonyoung says and pauses, looking pensive all of a sudden.
" So why did I have to punch that guy?"

Seungkwan's heart melts a little, as terrible as Soonyoung may be, he's always taken care of him, so much that he would probably never be able to repay him. He looks away as he answers," just another stupid ex hyung, I was just about to get rid of him."

He waits for the classic lecture, Soonyoung will maybe even make fun of him for always picking the wrong guy. He braces himself for it but it never comes, just a simple "you know I'm just a phone call away if you ever need anything."

Seungkwan's heart flutters but he quickly internally stomps on those feelings, they are literally in jail, he needs his heart to act sane for at least 10 minutes by the clock.

Seungkwan scoffs "A phone call away. To someone who has been declared dead for the past 3 years."

"Would you let it go already??? Seokmin is so lucky he doesn't have to listen to you nag like a grandma right now." Soonyoung speaks, clearly annoyed, as if he is the one being dramatic.

"You've spoken to seokmin ?? Seok knows you're alive ??!!!" The pitch of his voice only rises with each word.

"Anyways. so here's the plan." Soonyoung says, ignoring his words completely. He passes a round aluminium ball towards him, the size of his palm. " I'm at least 75% sure this will explode enough to cause a commotion, leading me to escape, I'm gonna put you inside the jail cell, so play the victim well okay seungkwan ah."

" What" is all seungkwan can say, still trying to process Soonyoungs words.

" I've been unalive for 3 years, the minute they get their hands on my fingerprints I'm done for, everything I told them while getting arrested was fake, obviously, so I've got to leave before they start looking for real evidence."

Seungkwan understands the situation of course, as insane as it may be, he looks at Soonyoungs face and sighs to himself. This is why one shouldn't stay friends with their childhood buddies, who knows the kind of person they grow up to become.
Seungkwan just wanted someone to push him on the swings and here he is years later, abiding in a crime.

" Call before visiting next time hyung." Are the last words seungkwan says to Soonyoung before half the space police station explodes.

-------

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: sports au - trading? rivalmance? life after injury, etc.
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Love cannot be won or lost; a relationship doesn't have a scoring system. We are partners, paired against the world. We cannot succeed if we are at odds with each other.

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

Every bed, every empty fraction
Turned around to be used as a weapon
Even though I can offer connection
Well, I hope that you love this attention
—PVRIS, Loveless

Ship/Member: Chan/Jihoon
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: competitive cliff diving (and other stupid acrobatic sports), rivals but pronounced like partners, sport injuries
Permission to remix: Yes

you had me at sport au, hope this fills your prompt!!

***

“It’s my fault,” Chan croaks.

“It wasn’t,” Jihoon mumbles back, inhaling through his teeth when pain answers and pierces through his chest. Two fractured ribs. Pleura tear. Barely avoided lung perforation. Jihoon huffs in threes; his periphery bleeds patches of unconsciousness.

Jihoon played baseball with his dad in the neighbourhood’s park. Jihoon enjoyed football with his friends. Jihoon grew to like gymnastics and the ripped-out hand calluses. In the end, Jihoon ends up with cliff diving.

He likes the release, the suspension, the impact, he tells interviewers on the off-white rocks of Saint-Raphael, where the light reflects off Chan’s shoulders in ochre. Camaraderie on tour, the audience, whistles perforating stunned silence, he mentions in the behind the scenes of the 2021 season in Oslo, where Chan debuts and nails his front 3 somersaults with 4½ twists free. They’re all truths and yet they feel like a lie when Chan’s tears are on the deck and all the judges’ placards reveal the number 10, and it’s supposed to be Jihoon’s, the dominance, the perfection, the applause.

It’s the story he is supposed to be able to tell, not just imagine.

Under the calcareous giants of Polignano a Mare, Chan throws up his hands above his head, fingers pointing number one, lunges at his coach and Jihoon wants to call that overkill, wants to snicker in how embarrassings, wants to say he would have accepted with more grace but it’s his turn to free fall from a twenty-height-meter platform and the howling ocean keeps him a quiet monster.

Everything stays too close to earth to be more than a game, he reminds himself.

It doesn’t mean Jihoon doesn’t like the pettiness of it. Being the first Korean, the first Asian, on the world tour and shutting up the audience and the lined-up veterans with pure ease on his first ever competitive dive. The desperation of it, too. Climbing cliffs without a rescue team to make sure he doesn’t fall behind during the off-season, pure adrenalin injected in his veins and icy immensities stopping his heart when his feet puncture the surface, paddling towards the light, gasping for air in short breaths; making sure it doesn’t end there.

“Hyung! Quadruple pikes and one twist next?” Chan dares when Jihoon finishes his imposed series in Shirahama. Jihoon doesn’t debut dives in competitions.

Jihoon still dreams of the highest step, the brightest colour, but he wonders if the road that leads him up to the platform is the correct one when Chan’s laugh echoes up the walls and the guilt grows red and redder.

Everything stays –

Impact.

“I had posters of you up my wall,” Chan cries in his hands in Jihoon’s hospital room. He looks smaller in his towel poncho and with wet hair sticking to his forehead than he ever has.

Jihoon dives for himself, he tells his coach, and by self he means all those other people who got him here and those who could have made it there instead of him and who couldn’t and he realises then, he means Chan too.

Edited 2021-12-29 23:47 (UTC)

Re: [FILL] : impact.

infrequencies - 2021-12-29 23:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] : impact.

aranak - 2021-12-30 21:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] : impact.

greycheonsa - 2021-12-30 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] : impact.

aranak - 2021-12-30 21:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] : impact.

sanduskyns - 2022-03-29 19:49 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Any; Seungcheol/Any; Minghao/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: acceptance of the friend zone, or presumed one-sided pining
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Desire is the living thing at the end of the tunnel, waiting with open arms, and to some, I imagine that isn’t a happy ending. Wanting leading into more wanting isn’t exactly a neatly tied ribbon, but it is a certainty.
— Hanif Abdurraqib on Carly Rae Jepsen

Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Wonwoo
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: college au, sharing a bed, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Seungcheol’s first mistake is inviting Wonwoo to his not-party.

Seungcheol has a habit of keeping himself very busy during the week. Busy with classes, with his part-time job. Much too busy to stay in touch with his close-knit group of friends from the team. Wonwoo only really knows Seungcheol, though, so this part is something he’s only heard from Seungcheol whining about his friends whining about him.

Wonwoo laughs along good-naturedly because it’s the normal thing to do. Then he goes back to happily eating the burger Seungcheol was kind enough to buy for him, maybe as some meager repayment for ghosting his texts all of last week.

But it’s fine. It’s whatever. Wonwoo doesn’t like to worry about these sorts of things. Plus, it’s a pretty decent burger, so he won’t complain about it.

Across from him, Seungcheol throws his phone down on the diner table, his own food forgotten. “You doing anything this weekend?”

He’s got this excited gleam in his dark, searching eyes. It’s making Wonwoo kind of nervous. Naturally, he’s too quick to reply, uncomfortably choking down the last french fry on his plate.

“Um, nothing really," he says through a cough. "What’s up?”

“Well, some of the guys from the team want to come over Friday night and hang out. Like, drinks and stuff,” Seungcheol says. “Something fun before finals season, you know?”

Slowly, Wonwoo leans back against the scratchy upholstery of their booth, taking Seungcheol in for the first time today. His soft hair rests in his eyes, overgrown and unruly around his face and ears. His skin is slightly paler than usual, stretched a little tighter around his watery eyes. The soccer sweatshirt he’s wearing is rumpled and has a weird stain on it.

Wonwoo does know, in fact. Seungcheol is tired. He looks like he desperately needs some fun.

“Don’t worry, it isn't a party,” Seungcheol clarifies.

Wonwoo nods.

It’s a shame that when it comes to Seungcheol, Wonwoo seems to lose all rationale and starts feeling a little crazy inside and forgets how to pick his words and also say them.

It’s also a shame that Seungcheol misinterprets it as hesitation or discomfort.

And it’s always like this. Wonwoo can feel his brain melt slowly like ice cream underneath a lamplight, and there is nothing he can do about it except watch and wait for Seungcheol to say something else, slicing through the fantasies deconstructing and rebuilding themselves within his mind.

"So… what do you think?"

The light above the booth flickers for a moment. Seungcheol’s pink lips split into his gummy smile, a dimple indenting his cheek. Wonwoo desperately wishes he had the strength to look away. Sometimes it’s fucking unbearable, being him and being next to Seungcheol.

Seungcheol bats his lashes at him, the hopefulness in his demeanor clear as day. “You in?”

-

His second mistake is pressing an ice-cold beer into Wonwoo’s ever-available hands.

The not-party is a gathering of something like twenty people—the perfect amount to chat up a couple of guys without ever getting too suffocated or sweaty in the apartment.

But none of that matters to Wonwoo, not when Seungcheol’s skin reflects fuzzy, yellow kitchen lighting and pink flush colors his cheeks from the pregaming Wonwoo knows he did earlier. Not when he looks so, so soft all around his edges. Warm and distracting as hell, like sitting too close to a bonfire.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Seungcheol says, crescent moon eyes locking with his in a meaningful stare.

Wonwoo barks out a laugh, awkwardly sticking his hand in the pocket of his worn jeans. “God, you’re cheesy.”

“But you like it when I’m cheesy, right?” He takes a swig from his own bottle before giving Wonwoo another devastatingly toothy grin. “Tell me how much you like it.”

Wonwoo can only blink. His face is getting hot and he feels stupid. Wonders if the ungainly smile he knows he’s wearing looks like a grimace.

“Ah, I’m just messing with you. Anyway, you should go… mingle and stuff. Seriously! Go, it’s okay. I’ll be here.”

Nodding, Wonwoo obediently stalks off to find Soonyoung.

-

Wonwoo's Seungcheol problem actually has very little to do with Seungcheol. Or that's what he tells himself, at least.

It has everything to do with how Wonwoo can’t comfortably spend another moment with Soonyoung when Soonyoung has worked so very hard for his title as the life of the party and gets busy entertaining his other friends instead of talking to him about something obscure and interesting enough to hold Wonwoo over for the night. It has everything to do with the bone-deep loneliness that comes with being the odd one out—a secret, shameful feeling that strikes him during any inconvenient moment and just can’t seem to shrug off no matter how hard he tries.

Seungcheol never makes him feel like that.

With Seungcheol it’s a whole other sort of loneliness, the endless possibilities gnawing away at his insides. It’s the heat and fury of a hormone-fueled crush and the torture of companionship never being enough. It's like thinking one untethered, unattainable person is your whole world, except it's not and he isn't.

It has everything to do with Jeonghan Yoon leaving Soonyoung’s side just to badger him a little. He pretends to brush his dark bangs out of his face. “Wonwoo, is that you? What a surprise! Nice of you to come and hang out.”

Wonwoo isn’t above rolling his eyes at acquaintances and almost-friends, but for the sake of being polite, he doesn’t. “Thanks,” he drones. “Great to see you, too.”

Jeonghan gives him a smug little smile, cuffing his shoulder like the overfamiliar soccer jock he is. “You’re sooo funny. Really. Anyway, have you seen Seungcheol yet?”

“Sure,” Wonwoo says, fixing his glasses. “Met him at the door.”

Jeonghan hums. He looks thoroughly amused, which makes Wonwoo regret ever speaking to him in the first place. “That’s great.”

“You haven’t seen him tonight?”

“Oh, me?” Jeonghan shakes his head, chuckling. “No, no, I was asking for you.” He holds out his soju bottle, nodding at Wonwoo’s unopened beer. “Hey, you wanna trade? I don’t know if I still want this.” He says it like he’s doing Wonwoo a favor.

Wonwoo nods, taking him up on his offer for once.

"Hey, um.” Jeonghan is watching him intently, gears turning as he carefully picks his words. It’s so unlike him Wonwoo can’t help but internally wince. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? Even after all of this is… yeah. I just wanted to tell you that.”

A confused noise dies in Wonwoo’s mouth. “Um, alright. Sure.”

“Good,” Jeonghan says, nodding very seriously, lips decisively pursed. “Good talk.”

“Good talk,” Wonwoo echoes, watching Jeonghan walk away with a newfound purpose in his steps.

-

Like Seungcheol had told him, it isn’t a party at all. So when his friends start heading out late into the brisk night and Wonwoo realizes he’s been killing time all by his lonesome, he goes to the kitchen and feels a little relieved to see it’s still in-tact and not too dirty.

He’s washing his third glass before Seungcheol is beside him, cloaked in the darkness of his small living room.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says. He possessively takes Wonwoo’s wrist in his soft hand. “Are you gonna stay over? Think it's snowing out there.”

Wonwoo almost balks as some sort of twisted defense mechanism, but then the last traces of drunkenness and exhaustion start to trickle in and cloud his judgment. Seungcheol’s looking at him expectantly, and his hand is slowly trailing down to meet Wonwoo’s soapy one, and—

Wonwoo smiles a little stiltedly but nods. Lets himself be led to Seungcheol’s room.

-

“Hey, Wonwoo…”

Wonwoo’s eyes flutter open at the sound of Seungcheol’s tired voice. “Hm?”

He pushes his glasses up with a finger and squints up at him. Seungcheol stares back down at Wonwoo with sleepy, down-turned eyes. His face is drawn and solemn, his mouth bitten a worried red.

“I wanted to tell you now so I wouldn’t—ah—it’s not that serious. I just—“

Wonwoo sits up, pushing the blankets off his shoulders. “You can tell me.”

“It’s just— I’m graduating early. Um, in a couple of weeks,” Seungcheol mumbles, head downcast and hair falling over his face. “I think— I feel like I should’ve told you earlier."

“Hyung,” is all Wonwoo can whisper.

Seungcheol stiffens. Bad move. “I said you don’t have to call me that.”

“I want to,” he replies in Korean. When Wonwoo had first moved here for school he couldn’t shake the habit and he supposes he still can’t. The only fragment of honesty he can even offer Seungcheol is a rather pathetic one.

“Hyung, you’re still drunk.” He pats the space next to him on the mattress, speaking softly. “Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”

Seungcheol miserably rubs his eyes, laying down next to Wonwoo. His knees brush against Wonwoo’s bumpy spine before he reaches around and holds him by the waist. Wonwoo inhales sharply as strong, sure hands find a home over his solar plexus. He screws his eyes shut.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol’s voice is barely a murmur, warm lips grazing some part of Wonwoo’s neck. It makes him shiver and that makes Seungcheol tighten his grip.

“Gonna miss you a lot, you know?”

Wonwoo knows.

He knows this isn’t really about goodbyes, because Wonwoo might not ever want to move back to Changwon and if they both wanted to, they can make time for one another. He also knows he won’t be missed in the way he’s always selfishly wanted from Seungcheol, and knows he can’t do anything about that either.

His silence compels Seungcheol to somehow hold him even tighter. His third mistake, because Wonwoo lets himself imagine a lot of things while he’s still here. Miraculously, regretfully here in Seungcheol’s arms.

This doesn’t have to hurt now, and after a while, it won’t hurt at all.

Seungcheol falls asleep pretty quickly. Wonwoo stays quiet and listens to him breathe, letting himself be smothered in sensation and sound.

Edited 2022-01-05 07:43 (UTC)

Re: [FILL] i'm just a flicker in your head

seokmin_liker - 2022-01-05 08:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [FILL] i'm just a flicker in your head

madeoutcreek - 2022-01-06 06:56 (UTC) - Expand

Ship/Member: Jihoon/Any; Jun/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: butterfly effect; temporal loops
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Eve:
Tell me now about entanglement. Einstein's spooky action at a distance. Is it related to quantum theory?

Adam:
Hm. No I mean, it's not a Theory it's proven.

Eve:
How does it go again?

Adam:
When you separate an entwined particle and you move both parts away from the other, even at opposite ends of the universe, if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or affected.

Eve:
Spooky. Even at opposite ends of the universe?

—Only Lovers Left Alive

Ship/Member: Soonyoung/Junhui
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: space au, space-time travel, quantum entanglement, very big science-y words, soonyoung is a sapiosexual
Permission to remix: Yes

this isn't related to time loops OR butterfly effect but. science biatch. i hope you don't mind too much!! (thanks to fitz from aos for his talk about space-time)
***

Sometimes Soonyoung gets an itch under his skin.

It’s a difficult sensation to explain, it’s like a pull to his gravity center, a hand that yanks him towards another place-time in the mess that is the space-time entanglement.

How did it go?

Ah right, that’s what he said:

“Time is an illusion,” Junhui explained that one time, spinning in his little chair and twirling his wrist in the air. “It’s just how we perceive the fourth dimension.”

Soonyoung just cocked his head to the side, not understanding what he meant. He looked at Junhui with big, bulging eyes. With a sigh, Junhui went on.

“We’re made of three dimensions, so we can’t perceive the fourth,” he said, as Soonyoung crawled his way into his lap. His hands found Soonyoung’s waist, warm. “For us, time flows. But time just is, like the three physical dimensions that our senses can actually make sense of.”

Once again, Soonyoung didn’t really catch the meaning of his words. He leaned a bit into Junhui’s space, pouting for good measure. Junhui bit back a grin - he knew Soonyoung liked when he said his big nerdy words.

“There’s no past, and no future. Time just exists. And nothing we can do can change that.”

“You’re hurting my brain,” Soonyoung ended up saying, silencing him with a searing kiss. They both forgot about the space-time discourse once their lips met.

Now, years later - later? Well, that’s if you believe in the flowing of time. It really is hard to explain - his speech is starting to make sense. In a way.

It gets messy at times.

What was he talking about? A right, the pull.

That’s also another messy scientific explanation - two separated halves of the same particle will always be altered or affected in the same way, even at different ends of the universe.

Or well, that’s what Junhui told him another time, as they counted constellations together and Soonyoung asked him to explain the beginning of the Universe.

Junhui liked to talk about his science, and Soonyoung liked to listen, even if he didn’t understand half of what he said.

Some things are starting to make sense only now, - but what is now, exactly? Another question without an answer - while Soonyoung stares at the swirling galaxies and feels the force that drags him somewhere (or sometime) else.

Soonyoung’s guts are pulling him in the direction of his other half; he hasn’t seen Junhui since the last time he crawled through a black hole and reappeared in another place-time entirely, almost on the brink of death.

That’s when he learned that space-time is confusing. Once he crossed the event horizon, his whole essence shifted, but he remained connected to Junhui, somehow.

The pull is what tells him that he’s still alive, somewhere out there. Or well, sometime. At this point Soonyoung isn’t so sure about anything anymore.

Still, he keeps moving, and he keeps looking for the missing half of his being.

Somehow, he knows that Junhui is looking for him too.

It’s the pull that tells him so.

Somewhere (or sometime) in the mess that is the space-time conundrum, his other half is missing him just as much.

Ship/Member: any u feel fit
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: shutting people out in response to own feelings + the risk of being caught, idolverse
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

If I was a different man
If I had blood in my eyes
I could have read of your heart
I could have read of your mind
But now I'm lonely instead, I put up a fight
So pick up your battering ram, love
I want to see it

There's too much riding on that
There's too much, too much, too much love
There's too much riding on that
There's too much, too much, too much love
There's too much riding on that
There's too much, too much, too much love
There's too much riding on that
Anyway

And maybe I talk too fast
And maybe I talk too much
Give me the sensitive laugh
Or give me the sensitive touch
Even if I could have kissed
And even if I could be the blood
I'm so sorry I tried, love
I want to see it

sufjan stevens - too much

Ship/Member: Joshua centric, Joshua/Seungcheol/Jeonghan
Major Tags: idolverse, implied sexual content
Additional Tags: repressing emotions! josh hong vs seventeen's joshua, feeling like a foreigner in your parents' country
Permission to remix: pls ask
a/n: you got me with the sufjan that's for sure. happy bday joshy!

***

I can't sleep and I miss your face
In my hands and in my knees
Tell me what you wanna do to me
Tell me what you'll do, please

I don't wanna be alone
I don't wanna be alone anymore
-Phoebe Bridgers

The skinship is one of the hardest things to get used to. Joshua doesn’t think he's insecure about his manhood or whatever. He’s bro-hugged plenty of his church friends. No stranger to friendly affection.

But it’s different here, in trainee life. Pushed to your physical, emotional, and mental limits, and the only comfort in your fellow trainees. Despite this, Joshua is still awkward around them. Tensing at Seokmin’s random back-hugs and Soonyoung nuzzles. He doesn’t dislike it, he’s just. Not used to it.

Things stay stagnant until Jeonghan and Seungcheol decide to carve their place in his life. Without his permission. Jeonghan, who rests his sweaty head on Joshua’s shoulder after every dance practice. Seungcheol, who is the first to roughhouse with Joshua, pinning him on the floor with a victorious smile.

Both of them shake him up entirely. Greedy, childish hands on a soda bottle, shaking and shaking until he spills over.

–

He and Jeonghan share a hotel room on tour. Joshua understands touch better as a language now, in the way Jeonghan absentmindedly pets at his hair, his cheeks, his neck. His returning touches are brief, but just as meaningful. He hopes.

“Let’s invite Cheollie,” Jeonghan says, mischief lighting up his face. “Hyung night!”

Joshua tilts his head. “Okay.”

Seungcheol is a real cuddler, snatching Joshua by the waist and pushing him to bed. Jeonghan clambers up on his other side, cackling like a goblin.

Joshua feels trapped by both of them. His shirt has ridden up a little, the warmth of Seungcheol’s fingers on bare skin coupled with Jeonghan’s hot breath in his ear, a shock to his system.

He focuses on laughing, forcing it out of his body. There’s nothing else he can do. Nothing that he’ll allow, anyways.

–

Joshua doesn’t feel like a “hyung” the way Jeonghan and Seungcheol do. Even though Seungcheol’s the youngest in his family, he takes to leader so naturally. Jeonghan, an actual older brother, takes care of everyone in a lot of little ways.

Joshua doesn’t measure up. Still the awkward, foreign interloper. So, he listens. He lets everyone talk to him, even though his Korean is still clumsy. He holds his hands out, a helpless gesture, surprised at how many of them want to latch on.

–

“Shua is good at this,” Seungcheol murmurs once, head in Joshua’s lap, Joshua scratching at his scalp with his free hand as he scrolls through his phone.

“Joshuji take care of me,” Jeonghan will whine after a night of drinking, clinging until Joshua is practically carrying him to bed.

Joshua pulled his hands away from them long time ago, but these two still have a firm hold on him.

–

Fanservice is a different animal than skinship. Pointed encouragement from management shoved Seungcheol and Jeonghan together in their early days. The two oldest, popularity skyrocketing.

Joshua stands on the outside, amused smile painted on. Clown makeup. At every fansign, watching his friends all over each other, breathing a fantasy to life.

“They’re too good at it,” Jihoon mutters under his breath, a perpetual fanservice anti. “It almost feels real.”

Joshua’s smile nearly cracks.

He knows it’s real.

–

The thing is, Joshua has worked too hard to risk anything. Moving here, burying parts of himself that were unsuitable for idol life. Navigating between Josh Hong and Hong Jisoo to become Seventeen’s Joshua. Reshaping, remodeling, recreating.

He’s worked too goddamn hard. He can’t risk it. Not for Jeonghan. Not for Seungcheol.

Not for both of them.

–

He walks into the room he’s sharing with Seungcheol, and Jeonghan is in bed with him. Their bodies curled together, the two of them shirtless. Jeonghan lifts his head, the skin of his cheeks pink. A peach, juicy and inviting. His mouth looks swollen and Joshua’s own dries.

Seungcheol looks up too, pretty eyes hooded. “Shua,” he rasps in a tone Joshua has only ever heard in dreams. “Come to bed?”

“I forgot I promised Vernon something,” he replies faintly. “Sorry.” Turning around before Jeonghan can protest. If Jeonghan speaks too, Joshua will be lost.

He thinks he hears the wet sound of a kiss before he exits. He walks quicker, ignoring the silent scream building in him, begging for him to turn around. Go back to them.

–

“If you’re struggling, I want you to tell me.” Seungcheol is serious, but sincere, saying the words slowly so that there’s no chance for Joshua to misunderstand. “You can rely on me, Jisoo. Okay?”

“Okay,” Joshua replies, knowing very well he’s never going to do so. Seungcheol, who’s been here forever, talented and hard-working and much more deserving than Joshua ever will be. Seungcheol, who already takes care of everyone. He wouldn’t dare.

Jeonghan is the one he ends up telling. “It’s too hard.” He has his face buried in his knees, unable to look Jeonghan in the face as he confesses. “I’m going to call my mom, I’m going to go back - “

He’s ready to babble, English mixing with Korean, when Jeonghan forces his head up.

“I’m here,” Jeonghan speaks in the same, measured way Seungcheol does. “It is too hard. But I’m here. Try a little longer. With me. Okay?”

It’s Jeonghan asking, so Joshua doesn’t have much of a choice. “Okay,” he agrees helplessly.

–

Jeonghan and Seungcheol taking a hiatus at the same time hits Joshua hard. He represses it, he’s the oldest in the group right now and that means something. Jihoon and Soonyoung are good at taking the leader roles, but Joshua needs to be the hyung. Paints the smile, holds hands and wipes tears.

He’d always known he wasn’t much without those two, but it’s sobering to actually live through it.

Are you eating well? he texts in a group chat with only them. He’s worn out, Seokmin sleeping beside him. The I miss you is implied, obvious. Joshua is vulnerable enough to actually type it out.

I love you, Seungcheol sends back.

Idiot, Jeonghan replies. Send me a selca!

–

“Come to bed,” Jeonghan orders. Despite his tone, he looks just as nervous as Seungcheol. Matching hope in their eyes, staring right through Joshua standing in the doorway. They’ve been waiting for him, all this time.

They hold their hands out, and Joshua finally takes them.

“Okay,” he says.

Will I ever be able to see myself the way others see me?
No
Where does my personal bias limit me?
(everywhere)
Will you judge me for asking?
Yes, yeah
Should I care?
Nope, no

(kilo kish - existential crisis hour!)

Edited 2021-12-29 15:48 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: retrospective; futurefic
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

"The first part of Landslide? I think it was the first line, I think it was ‘I took my love and I took it down.’ Which really meant, I always said I took my ego and I took it off the mantle. Like, that trophy ego that we all have, you know? And I took the ego down and decided was it selfish, to walk away.” —Stevie Nicks, 2011

Leave my body in the water early
Tried baptism but it felt like burning
—Jensen McRae, My Ego Dies at the End

Edited 2021-12-29 15:49 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 8 of 15

maths is complicated

[FILL] matching your footsteps

feel it in my face when i least expect it

[FILL] held my breath for a decade

did someone say pain?

[FILL] did someone say pain?

but I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you

does it drive you crazy to see me doing well now

[FILL] imitation

ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

[FILL] ode to the has-been (where did the party go?)

maybe we could all have dinner together

[FILL] maybe we could all have dinner together

i walk to hell with my own two feet

foul temptation

[FILL]: Like Giants

to know me is to hate me

tragic trios

[FILL] empty chairs at empty tables

making/breaking

no subject

[FILL] astronomy in reverse

wishbone again

[FILL] wishbone again

no subject

sculptures in persephone's infinite garden

diving too deep for a coin

things that drift away

no subject

[FILL] Space Jail

carry the burden

[FILL] : impact.

i'm just a flicker in your head

[FILL] i'm just a flicker in your head

this action will have consequences

[FILL]: somewhere (sometime) else

no subject

[FILL] mirror with three faces

no subject

my ego dies at the end